Been a while since I wrote, still have several posts on the burners. But I’m sort of back now from my hiatus. I took a family trip and quit my job and many, many other things. I still need to write a post to “accept” an award I was nominated for. That’s still on my to do list. But for now, words!
I promised my now girlfriend I we would hold each other accountable for writing so often and I haven’t held up my end for a bit. I have lots more drafts stacked up and each one prematurely ended or suspended, not ready for release into the wild. But, let me just do an update maybe?
There’s not been a whole lot pressing matters going on, nothing too reflective spinning around the ol’ custard bowl, but I can tell everyone (whoever that is) what’s been going on, well, some of it, I still can’t talk about (like my trip to jail and pending court case). I have a girlfriend though. Now that’s a thing. And I couldn’t be more happy. I told myself I wouldn’t date, that I was not interested, I told others too, my friends and such. I can honestly say, she has caught me completely off guard.
It’s been like a month since our first date. A month since I felt the need to return to church, and yes, I still pray most nights. Beyond that, she’s something of a marvel. She’s managed to lower my shields despite so many things in my head blaring eminent doom. Glad those warnings were apparently just a drill, everyone return to your stations!
Love. It’s a funny thing. A source of healing, motivation, anger, suffering, joy, expression, and so many others. And even more interesting, it hits you. You don’t always get a choice in this manner. It just straightens up and smacks you. You reel for a bit and wonder what’s going on before just becoming something of a slave to the idea that this person might just be the one for you.
I’ve never had anything happen so fast like that. But love? It doesn’t surprise me that it can do it, that it happens. And she’s pretty great, I’m not just some puppy-eyed fool falling for any girl who talks to him. She’s good for me in both a productive and spiritual way. In addition to how in tune we are with one another. I really could probably spend an hour or two just saying how awesome she is, but I think most readers understand it at this point.
I hope (and believe) she’s just as foolishly smitten as me. It’s a good feeling. It really is.
My ex decided to not continue our friendship, I completely get it. I think it was the relationship with my girlfriend that may have set her off and, that’s completely understandable, given the length of our relationship and everything. I hope she can one day reconcile and we can be friends, but until that day, I wish her the best of luck and good fortune and hope she can get that healing she needs.
On a professional note (is it professional) I am definitely planning to return to school in the Spring to continue my education. I’m a smart guy after all, I can do this. Ah! Just look at all the progress I’ve made in a few short months. I’m so much closer to the man I want to be. And also, happy. I’m really happy.
I know there are tough times ahead, but the good times seem to be outweighing them a bit at this point, and I couldn’t be more thrilled. Mental illness is a tough thing. It’s far from one size fits all. And there’s a harsh stigma that goes along with it. I want to help end that. Even if it’s just help a person or two, people need to know it’s ok to be ill, that there are treatments for it. I wish all people had a good doctor and treatment from the get go, but it doesn’t seem to be that way. Just keep trying, life is such a terrible thing to waste.
Until next time, I wish everyone the best, I need to reboot my nerditorial and write a post to accept my award, so maybe look for those soon!
With love and small semblance of sanity, I bid ya’ll adieu.