I think I have mentioned on here how I have an internal dialogue much like that of a conversation between two people. I fully acknowledge that’s my own self though. I don’t think that makes me crazy, I’ve been told that’s relatively normal and I’ve done it all my life. It’s simply how I think or address thoughts and ideas.
What’s particularly odd, is that my other self when speaking to a hypothetical idea likes to smoke cigarettes. Now, you are probably rereading that to make sure you understood what I said. Let me provide an example.
I think of having a conversation with a friend and am listening to a complaint that I have an answer to. Don’t ask why such thoughts happen, hypothetical conversation are constant in my head and I don’t know why. But when I listen to my friend’s complaint and prepare my response, I incidentally imagine myself smoking and taking an inhale right before I tell them something. Sometimes instead of an inhale, I’m stubbing what remains of the cigarette out in an ashtray.
I don’t know why this is. I also don’t know how to properly explain a visual in my head. So I think the “other me” is a smoker. It’s probably no surprise I inhaled second hand smoke since I was a tiny thing and only recently get a break from it in the past few years. I have no idea if that relates. But it is certainly an odd thing to get caught up on in my head. Every time it surprises me.
“Why the heck am I smoking in this thought?”
“Eh, just deal with it” I get in reply.
If it weren’t for such distractions, I might actually get some work done. Also, related I am currently at work. So yeah.
Anyway, happy mid day thing, if I remember later I will write again, because it is my anniversary of dating with my fiance and would like to write some positive things too.